Poem: Of Stars and God
Under Dark Firmament
I’ve known of you, like I know of stars:
extant – ignored or adored – always there.
No laughter ever between us was ours;
just this wonder-filled longing I bear.
Did you seek me? Were you there to be found?
Bewildering discovery: you hovering near.
My unbelief cracking, I tiptoed around
you Everlasting, I in my fear.
You let me watch you (as I do)
when you (for me!) cried out and bled.
Your sacrifice my horror drew.
Such love – too much! I fled.
You picked the wrong person for such a rich gift!
– no more than a child in impulsion.
My fear: that my flaws cleave a much deeper rift,
and end in your grievous revulsion.
Could you not be content with my distance,
permit me to give you wide berth?
You press in at my strongest resistance:
you invest in my dubious worth.
A tear-streaked face the heart belying,
I persist in pursuing self-sabotage.
The love I’ve craved I’m self-denying
and thrill in chasing its vague mirage.
Roaming out under dark firmament,
diamond-studded with lavish beneficence,
I wonder at each starry ornament.
Would they dare deny your omnipotence?
You who made stars out of chaos,
who formed me, without my request,
must have power to transform my ethos
and fashion this clay for the best.
Then reshape me for you; you can have me!
Draw love from this vessel you chose.
You are near now; your own eyes have read me.
For your glory my story compose.
Photo from HubbleSite, poem from yours truly