I guess I should at least defend myself by saying that this last week HAS been crazy, with Drew still gone after two weeks and needing to get the house painted before we close on it. Thank goodness for family! Everyone came to my rescue on Saturday and we got the whole house primed… which is all we need to close. (Pictures will be coming of our fun-family-painting day.)

Until then…

Forgetting what day is was has allowed me to blog about what we have existing pictures of, which is either pregnancy… or Jack finding a turtle. Both are fun, but being in my third trimester now, the realization has hit that I’m actually going to have a son! I am nervous, realizing that I have to take care of this little guy pretty soon, and I don’t know what he needs. How many blankets do I need? How many diapers do we need? When do I start feeding him applesauce? How do I help him if he struggles in school? What if I don’t like his wife….. and on and on, ad nauseam.

And then he moves, and I can see a little knee outline on the side of my tummy, and it all washes away in almost unbearable anticipation. I just want to meet you and hold you! I already love you so much. Already, mommy instincts are “kicking” in. He keeps me up at night, apparently participating in some karate work-out program that comes on at 2 A.M. It is exhausting, but I don’t really mind. My son is healthy, and that’s all that matters.

I am already excited to just show him stuff. I want to take him to the zoo and watch out the window as his dad teaches him to throw a curve-ball.

I love being pregnant. I love the attention, the pampering, and the excuse to order TWO hamburgers. But I am getting ready. I suppose that’s God’s perfect provision. Nine months to prepare yourself for what’s coming, first, to realize that you’re going to be a mama, then to get used to the idea, and finally, to want it so badly that you can hardly stand it!

Two and a half months left… I am so thankful to be healthy and to have a healthy baby. Two and a half months and I will hold my son. Two and a half months… and please God, let my calves and feet go back to a normal size!!!

This is a typical set of exchanges at our house lately:

“Mom, can I have some jewwy beans, cuz… um…” (thinking of something that deserves a reward… running to grab the nearest toy…) “I picked up my tape measure?”
Humoring him – and underestimating him – I hand over three jelly beans.
“No, Mom! I need FIVE jewwy beans ’cause… this tape measure is SO heavy!”

My older daughter lagged behind in some of her pronunciations, so we we worked hard with her on adding beginning sounds to her words (like “c” at the beginning of “cat”). She’s caught up now…
But the younger daughter has taken the lessons to heart. She was sorting through the picnic tableware in the pantry the other day and asked:
“Mom, can I have a white ‘poon?”
“Sure, here’s your white poon.”
“NO, Mom! That’s not how you say it. It’s k-k-k-white poon!”

My younger son is just beginning to talk. He frequently crawls up to me begging, “Huuuug!” and I love that this was his first word.

Sometimes our exchanges are challenging, like when my daughters ask (already?!) how the baby came out of my belly. “Uh… just fine…”

My older son announced the other day, “I want us to have FIVE babies.”
“Hmmm… But I just like having four.”
“Weeelll, but four is almost to five!”

Sometimes I find it handy to borrow from the baby’s vocabulary… “Pthbbbt!”

Building on my younger daughter’s interest in pronunciation, I told her, “It’s not oors, it’s y-y-y-yours.”
She replied, “Y-y-y-mine!”

And I’ve posted a couple on my facebook page recently…

From a week or so ago: “Mom, some patterpillows turn into butterflies. Some turn into mops!”

My older son, ever hopeful, said, after his baby brother cut his finger:
“Weeellll… I guess we’ll have to get a new baby now. Ours is broken!”

Little kids are capable of expressing big ideas. Their thoughts and words begin to be molded from the time they utter their first syllables, if not before.

Julie has encouraged me not to underestimate young children’s ability to memorize big ideas. We’re working on classic poems this year, but we’ve also added short scripture memory verses to go along with their weekly Bible lessons.

When I was a growing up, I didn’t develop an understanding of the overall story of the Bible until my teens. I’m not sure it’s necessary or even possible for younger kids to understand how the biblical generations are related, or how one event led to another. I’m going to give it a try, though, and at the very least they will have learned the basic stories!

For this year, I’ve chosen stories that emphasize the journey to the Promised Land – both the Old Testament journey to Canaan and the New Testament journey to the New Jerusalem.

We’ll read the stories mostly in chronological order, but we switch things up a bit here and there. For example, in the Fall, we cover a section on Unlikely Helpers (The Lion and the Mouse, the Good Samaritan, Ruth and Naomi, feeding the multitudes with a few loaves and fish, Squanto, and others). This section falls right between the Old Testament and New Testament, and some stories from both Testaments are included.

The following list of memory verses is correlated with the sequence of Bible stories, sometimes taken directly from the story, other times just reflecting a key concept.

I’ll leave you with the verses now… and I hope you have an inspired Wednesday!

The Verses

For a printable PDF of the verses we’re using (plus how they fit with our school topics), click here. If you do use these, please double-check the verses for accuracy, in the Bible version you like to use. Some of the verses are only partial; older children could memorize the entire Bible verse. Also, several verses are repeated through the year. I’d rather they really understand one verse than try to cram in three that they’ll forget.

Week 1 – April – Jesus’ death and resurrection
Memory Verse: “Christ is Risen” “He is Risen Indeed” (traditional Easter greeting)

Week 2 – April – Jesus ascends, Holy Spirit is given
Memory Verse: “He is coming with the clouds, and every eye will see him.” (Revelations 1:7)

Week 3 – April – Creation
Memory Verse: “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.” (Genesis 1:1)

Week 4 – April – First sin (Adam & Eve, Cain & Abel)
Memory Verse: “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23)

Week 5 – April/May – Noah’s Ark
Memory Verse: “Obey the Lord your God.” (Deuteronomy 27:10)

Week 6 – May – Noah’s Ark
Memory Verse: “The Lord is faithful to all his promises.” (Psalm 145:13)

Week 7 – May – God tells Abraham he’ll have land and descendents
Memory Verse: “I know the plans I have for you.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

Week 8 – May – Sarah has a baby, preview father/son line (Abraham, Isaac, Jacob)
Memory Verse: “Nothing is impossible with God.” (Luke 1:37)

Week 9 – May – Review father/son line
Memory Verse: “…that we should be called children of God.” (I John 3:1)

Week 10 – May/June – A wife for Isaac (doing a little extra)
Memory Verse: “Let us not become weary in doing good.” (Galatians 6:9)

Week 11 – June – Jacob and Esau (forgiveness for taking a gift that wasn’t his)
Memory Verse: “Be patient, bearing with one another in love.” (Ephesians 4:2)

Week 12 – June – Joseph’s coat, selling into slavery, reunion with brothers
Memory Verse: “And we know that in all things God works for the good…” (Romans 8:28, to be continued)

Week 13 – June – Review fathers, promises (to Abraham), how they got to Egypt
Memory Verse: “They Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.” (Psalm 119:105)

Week 14 – June/July – Baby Moses
Memory Verse: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him…” (Romans 8:28, review, and to be continued)

Week 15 – July – Moses and the burning bush
Memory Verse: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him and who have been called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

Week 16 – July – Moses and the plagues
Memory Verse: “Let my people go.” (Exodus 9:1)

Week 17 – July – The Israelites cross the Red Sea
Memory Verse: “How awesome is the Lord Most High.” (Psalm 47:2)

Week 18 – July – Life in the desert: Manna and water from the rock
Memory Verse: “God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:18-20)

Week 19 – August – Ten commandments
Memory Verse: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.” (Deuteronomy 6:5)

Week 20 – August – Israelites are afraid of giants in Canaan
Memory Verse: “Do not be afraid, for I am with you.” (Genesis 26:24)

Week 21 – August – Crossing Jordan, who are Moses & Joshua, promised land
Memory Verse: “Let everything that has breath praise the Lord.” (Psalm 150:6)

Week 22 – August – In the Promised Land: Fall of Jericho
Memory Verse: “The name of the Lord is a strong tower.” (Proverbs 18:10)

Week 23 – August/September – In the Promised Land: David and Goliath
Memory Verse: “I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:13)

Week 24 – September – We want kings: David and Solomon
Memory Verse: “Worship the Lord your God, and serve Him only.” (Luke 4:8)

Week 25 – September – Solomon builds the temple
Memory Verse: “True worshippers will worship the Father in spirit and in truth.” (John 4:23)

Week 26 – September – Jonah
Memory Verse: “Where can I go from your Spirit?” (Psalm 139:7)

Week 27 – September/October – Captivity: Fiery furnace
Memory Verse: “Because he loves me, says the Lord, I will rescue him; I will protect him.” (Psalm 91:14)

Week 28 – October – Captivity: Daniel in the lion’s den
Memory Verse: “Because he loves me, says the Lord, I will rescue him; I will protect him.” (Psalm 91:14)

Week 29 – October – Esther
Memory Verse: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart.” (Proverbs 3:5)

Week 30 – October – Nehemiah rebuilds the wall
Memory Verse: “The joy of the Lord is your strength.” (Nehemiah 8:10)

Week 31 – October – OT versus NT: review fathers/kings; Intro Jesus, true stories versus parables that teach
Memory Verse: “Jesus spoke all these things to the crowd in parables.” (Matthew 13:34)

Week 32 – October/November – Offering loaves and fish to feed the multitude
Memory Verse: “And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:18-20)

Week 33 – November – David and Goliath
Memory Verse: “Do not be afraid, for I am with you.” (Genesis 26:24)

Week 34 – November – Naomi, Ruth, and Boaz
Memory Verse: “Let us not become weary in doing good.” (Galatians 6:9)

Week 35 – November – Parable of the Good Samaritan
Memory Verse: “Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good.” (I Chronicles 16:34)

Week 36 – November/December – OT vs. NT: fathers/kings; review Jesus and parables
Memory Verse: “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.” (Matthew 16:16)

Week 37 – December – Jesus’ birth
Memory Verse: “I will bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people.” (Luke 2:10)

Week 38 – December – Jesus’ birth
Memory Verse: “God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son.” (John 3:16)

Week 39 – January – Jesus’ growing up years
Memory Verse: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” (Ephesians 6:1)

Week 40 – January – Jesus’ followers (Peter’s net of fish, sinner Matthew)
Memory Verse: “’Come, follow me,’ Jesus said, ‘and I will make you fishers of men.’” (Matthew 4:19)

Week 41 – January – Miracles: Water into wine, or other feeding of multitudes
Memory Verse: “I am the living bread that came down from heaven.” (John 6:15)

Week 42 – Janary – Miracles: Healing the blind man
Memory Verse: “I am the light of the world.” (John 8:12)

Week 43 – January/February – Miracles: Raising Lazarus from the dead
Memory Verse: “I am the resurrection and the life.” (John 11:25)

Week 44 – February – Parables: The good shepherd
Memory Verse: “I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep, and my sheep know me.” (John 10:14)

Week 45 – February – Parables: The lost sheep, the lost coin
Memory Verse: “Your Father in Heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost.” (Matthew 18:14)

Week 46 – February – Parables: The prodigal son
Memory Verse: “Whoever comes to me I will never drive away.” (John 6:37)

Week 47 – February/March – Blessing the children
Memory Verse: “Let the little children come to me.” (Matthew 19:14)

Week 48 – March – Jesus talks about his return and about the New Jerusalem
Memory Verse: “He is coming with the clouds, and every eye will see him.” (Revelations 1:7)

Week 49 – March – Jesus enters Jerusalem
Memory Verse: “Blessed is the King who comes in the name of the Lord.” (Luke 19:38)

Week 50 – March – Passover Meal
Memory Verse: “Do this in remembrance of Me.” (I Corinthians 11:24)

Week 51/1 – April – Resurrection
Memory Verse: “Christ is Risen” “He is Risen Indeed.” (traditional Easter greeting)

…to our softball playing, tea party throwing, chick flick loving, dirt digging, soul delving, grandkid chasing, wise Mom.

… and to our mothers-in-law. Thank you for persevering, inspiring, and giving so much.

We love and trust the sons you’ve raised – enough to want to share the rest of our lives with them.

Is it jumping the gun to say happy first Mother’s Day to Annie?!

I hope it’s a wonderfully sunny day in many ways. Love to you all.

Anyway, on to the garden… I have had a busy week, getting tomatoes in, planting basil, transplanting marigolds, and planting berries (thanks to my wonderful might-as-well-be-my-little-brother, who dug the holes that I just couldn’t manage). The motivation, however, to put together a gardening “lesson” escaped me, so I thought I would just go out with the camera and give you a slightly disorganized and lazy tour of my this-year’s garden, if that’s okay.

This is definitely a first-year garden. The layout is new and coming, composed of four tilled beds, with grass in between. Expanding on to the right (East), I have squash hills and the strawberry bed. The only lesson here is to think about lighting. I went North/South with my beds, but it doesn’t really matter, as long as you make sure that each plant gets the correct amount of light.

Strawberry bed. It is really important to set a strawberry bed up right, since it will most likely be there for 2-3 years. I dug it up deeply (12-18 inches), tilled in compost, set in 4 stepping stones (you can’t really see them) so that I will not compact the soil, planted the strawberries, fertilized them, and covered them with straw.

I did make sure that each strawberry plant could peek out!

Three squash hills. I planted watermelon in one, and buttercup squash in the others. (Miss Daisy was feeling very photogenic today!)

On the right and left are the watermelon plants. The bigger plants are radishes. Mom always taught us to plant radishes with squash because the radishes come up first, keeping the rabbits and bugs busy so that squash get a good head start.

The four tilled beds. Two beds of tomatoes on the right, and then two veggie rows.

While I was taking pictures, a robin with a worm in his mouth hopped along my tomato cages. It’s May in Kansas, and this bird and I shared a silent thought of “Now, isn’t the world a lovely place, my dear?”

Mom came down and helped me get the tomatoes transplanted. We planted the tomatoes, fertilized them, set the cages, and then dug “wells” that double as water-holders and anchors for the cages.

One of the veggie beds. Because I used old bean seeds, the germination was about 1/2, which is okay, because I just filled in the middle with more seeds (which haven’t come up yet). On the right is another row that is ready for beans, but I will wait about a week before I plant it. It’s called succession planting, where you plant a little of each crop a few weeks apart, so you have fresh veggies all season, instead of a “harvest time” for each crop.

Sorry, but Miss Daisy was insistent that she be in the blog!

This is the other half of the “bean bed.” Here, I have cucumbers planted in the cage, and 2 yellow summer squash plants coming up, again, surrounded by patches of radishes. My poor mom… she just told me that she planted 3 plants EACH of yellow squash and zucchini. Her friends are going to have to start locking their car doors, so she can’t “share” excessively!

Spinach bed, with a marigold border. Rodents and bugs hate the smell of marigolds, so I have heard to plant them as a fence around the garden. They work!…. or maybe it’s Jack, who half-insanely chases everything on the property, including moths! Oh, also, I planted spinach right against the east side of the wash house, because greens can get less light than fruiting plants – especially because I planted the spinach a little late, and they don’t like heat.

The only other members of the family that have yet to be “put into ‘bed'” are the peppers. They are still in pots because 1) I need to find and make a bed for them, and 2) they hate, hate, HATE cold weather, so I’m keeping them inside at nights still for a couple weeks.

Random favorite garden tools. This was my Easter present from my mother-in-law! Doesn’t she know me? It holds a lot of water, is really sturdy, and I use it at least twice a day! You really don’t know how much you’d use a good watering can until you have one. I would have a hard time going without one now.

Watering wand. My other Easter present from my mother-in-law. And my other new use-at-least-twice-a-day-can’t-live-without tool! They spray is so gentle! They are the best on the market, in my opinion. Also, my boots (pronounced beeoots!), which was my Valentine’s Day present from Drew! … and my belly…

Finally, my shovels, large and small, and my bucket, which has a million uses on a small farm!

Well, thus ends my tour. I think it will be fun to take the same tour in a month or so and see the differences.

This was my older son (and his twin sister) three years ago. He was receiving an albuterol treatment with a home nebulizer. It was one of many, many treatments over the course of two years.

He had “reactive airway disease,” his pediatrician said. It’s a precursor to asthma, which apparently cannot be diagnosed reliably until age six.

When I was a kid, they didn’t have reactive airway disease. I would have been promoted straight to “childhood asthma.”

I’m not sure what my mom’s diagnosis was. Based on her descriptions, though, I’m guessing her breathing apparatus did not have a purple rhino face on it.

This was my younger son yesterday.

Here we go again.

I’m not sure why I didn’t see this coming. Somehow it never occurred to me that more than one of my children might need breathing treatments.

The asthma attacks are induced by common cold viruses. My sons (but not my daughters) are virus magnets.

In this case, the baby seems to have caught a catch-all virus, which he graciously passed along to me, complete with the hiccups. This may be the first time I’ve ever knelt on the bathroom floor and dealt with hiccups.

I don’t want to do this again. I don’t want to watch another kid struggle to breathe. I don’t like counting breaths… 59, 60 per minute… watching symptoms… eyelids blue, lethargic, chest sucking for air.

I don’t want to stay awake, keeping him propped in my arm and counting respiratory rates… wondering if we’ll have to drive to the ER… dealing with hyperactivity after the treatments.

Can we throw the nebulizer out the window and never need it again?

Much as I hate the treatments, I’m so thankful for them, grateful for life-air for my sons.

I’m grateful for the middle-of-the-night reminder to get reconnected to the Life-Air when I’m gasping for breath, so to speak, and feeling blue.

I’m grateful to be done with the hiccups.

I’m grateful to hold my son at all. I don’t take it for granted.

The next eight (!) weeks will be crazy around here, with packing, cross-country trips home, sorting through all manner of official paperwork, and so on. I’ll try to post useful and meaningful things as I, uh, catch my breath. In the meantime, bear with the random topics…

The countdown to our move is now in weeks instead of months!

“Annie, the post office just called to say that the chicks are here.”
“What????” (now fully awake)
“Annie, did we order chicks?”
“Well, yeah, but they weren’t supposed to come for another WEEK!”
“Did I know that we ordered chicks?”
“I’m pretty sure I told ….didn’t we have a conversa….you said….. anyway, I guess I better go get them. Oh my gosh! They are a week early! I don’t have anything ready!!!!!”
“How many did we get?”
“40”
“FORTY!”
“Gotta go, babe. Love you!”
click.

Anyone who knows me would not be surprised to find out that I ordered 40 chicks:
1. Without checking one more time that Drew and I were on the same page about this plan.
2. Before I checked to make sure that we had the equipment and setup for starting backyard chickens.
3. Not worried a bit about my lack of preparation!

So, at 7 o’clock, I picked up 40 very loud chicks from our local post office, much to the relief of those sorting the mail. So, the chicks and I drove all over our town… and the next town furiously trying to gather the supplies.

– peat moss (for bedding) ……..check
– medicated chick feed ………..check
– heat lamps (2)…………..bought one and Drew’s folks had another…….check (note on that, though. I found out AFTER I had bought a $16 red heat bulb, that white is just as good and about half the price!)
– OH! feeders and waterers!………… once again, Drew’s folks, thank goodness………….check
– medication to put in the water…………… nope

So, finally, back at home, now at 9:30, I unload the lamps and peat moss into the chicken coop that I spent most of a day cleaning out. “Alright, now where’s the outlet for the lamps?”

NO ELECTRICITY IN THE CHICKEN COOP! WHAT????????

Ok, plan B. By this time, I was appologizing to the chicks and begging them not to die, that I was trying really hard to get them a home.

So, I rigged up a pen in the big shed.

Not much to look at, but it works! I was really impressed with myself. Screen doors over the top keep animals out, and a towel stuffed into the little slots between the screen doors takes care of snakes.

I also called Drew’s farming buddies and made them come out and make sure that I wasn’t going to burn Drew’s shed down somehow. (I figured that would make the whole not-checking-before-ordering-40-chicks thing worse.)

The medication that you’re supposed to put into the chicks water to keep them from getting Coccidiosis was not available at our coop, so I called Debbie and made her look up other options. And, as it turns out, vinegar is a great, and cheap substitute. (I put 1 Tablespoon per quart in of raw apple cider vinegar and 1 Tablespoon per gallon of molassas, to offset the traveling shock).

So……. at 12 o’clock, I had soaked the feeders and waterers in bleach, rinsed and filled them, spread the peat moss down, and opened my tiny mail-order box with 40 peeping babies.

THEY WERE ALIVE!

After dipping each beak in water, I just sat back and watched for about ten minutes, admiring my ability to totally roll with the punches and making mental notes to NEVER be unprepared again!

Jack was so confused. He didn’t know if he was supposed to protect them or eat them, so I got one out. He looked at me, then at the chick, and gently placed his mouth over it. I, of course, told him “no.” After that, he was content just to watch over them.

Here is a comparison-picture of the chicks.

They grow so fast! They already have adult feathers coming in. We lost 2, but that is normal. They actually sent us 2 extra, so, to date, we have 40 (FORTY!) healthy chicks.

There seem to be plenty of people I know who are out of steam lately. Can we just take a break today? Want to leave the house and worries behind and come with us on a field trip?!

This is a virtual field trip, so we can visit the zoo, the gardens, and the aquarium all in one day!

We can also skip the blowouts, the meltdowns, and the sore feet. Virtual field trips are awesome.

By the way… field trips at our house usually are impromptu. Please excuse our messy hair.

No more words now, just pictures.

The end!

1. I am tired of having candy in the house. We started using it for rewards, and it has taken over like an uncontrollable monster. I think it was the cake pops that finally did me in this past week.

From now on, I plan to use frozen berries as an alternative to candy rewards. The kids like them – why not?

As for my sugar cravings, I plan to eat lots and lots of fruit.

2. You know kumquats, those little orange, blurry fruits in the middle of the picture above?

Around here, they’re “gumpwots.”

I love mispronunciations!

I don’t love kumquats, though. They’re sour, and I wouldn’t buy them for myself again.

But the kids like them. So why not?!

3. Our party last weekend was not quite what I expected!

First of all, I had misunderstood: This was only supposed to be a trial run for a bigger party later in the spring! Oh my.

My husband has a Cuban coworker who grew up doing whole pig roasts with her family to celebrate special occasions. She talked my husband into trying a Cuban pig roast! So he ordered the pig, invited a few people for the trial run… and then, sadly, the friend’s father died, and the friend was not able to come.

We are thinking of her.

It knocked the wind out of the sails of the party, for sure. We ended up just spending the afternoon and evening with another couple and their two boys. And it was fun!

It was a huge relief that this family was the adventurous type who didn’t mind standing around a pig roaster, digging in when it was cooked to perfection.

The meat was delicious, by the way. Beware, if my husband ever invites you over for dinner. The roast was repeatable!

4. Annie doesn’t have access to a computer right now. We will have to wait to hear how her 40 chicks are doing. Oh, the suspense!

Her part of the blog – and mine – should be so much easier once I’m living within an hour of her. Two more months! Oh, the suspense!

I’m still holding my breath that things will calm down for Julie. I wish I could go in and make life fall into neat, predictable boxes for her.

My promised post about preventing lying is here.

5. I’m ending this list with another blog link, if you’ll bear with the links. Before you click over there, find some Kleenex.

The blog is written by a mother who lost her toddler son in an accident in their home in December. Yes, that was just a few months ago. Her “about” page doesn’t mention the accident, as if she’s still trying to wrap her mind around it.

www.roscommonacres.com

This is where the rubber meets the road. This is where it’s really at. Her words are pure gold.

Amazingly, her blog, as she wrestles openly with the issues, is giving encouragement and healing even to those who haven’t experienced the same grief.

I’m praying for her and for others who grieve the unfathomable loss of a child. One of the greatest joys in heaven must be seeing mothers wrap their arms around their precious children to hold them once again.

We do not grieve as those who have no hope…

And I would love to be able to witness all infractions of the house rules, so I’d never have to ask who colored all over the table…

In these cases, omnipotence could be helpful, too.

Since I have no superpowers, I rely on asking questions, like a normal mortal. And sometimes, like last week, my angelic children respond with lies.

Before I dive into this, I want to give an enormous disclaimer, in bold, red italics. (I considered making it 3D, but I’ll spare you.)

I am dealing with normal children ages four and under.

They still believe me if I say that eating too much candy will make their limbs fall off. And I don’t really tell them things like that! Point number one should be that lying to my kids undermines my efforts to teach them to love truthfulness.

But my current point is that my kids are easily led. Also, they are not faced with very troubling issues beyond cowlicks and lisps. I wouldn’t begin to try to address lying in older children or in those coping with extra challenges.

To begin, then:

Start by knowing the foundation for your parenting approach.

I do my best to base my parenting on my understanding of our faith.

1. The clear, unyielding truth is the beginning – and it’s only a beginning. These are the rules, they are not to be broken, and there are serious consequences if they are broken.

2. Punishment isn’t as motivating as relationship. A loving relationship (made possible through forgiveness) provides the reason for caring whether or not we live a life of guilt, lies, and evaded punishment.

3. The goal (along with healthy relationships) is to understand and embrace the reasons for doing right. Although it is by doing that we begin to understand, the end point is to be increasingly able to make healthy choices by thinking them through.

Ask creative questions to open up the conversation for confession.

In the case of coloring on the table, here’s how the conversation went:

“Did you color on the table?!”

This was a direct, angry question (after another sibling had been blamed). The child felt trapped. Not good.

The only answer I got was silence and a hanging head.

I try to think how I would feel. What am I looking for in this conversation, and how do I get it?

Trying an indirect approach, I ask:

“Can you point out to me where you colored on the table? Which part did you color?”

This was a ridiculous question. There were crayon marks scrawled across the entire surface.

The small pointing finger served as a confession, though. The child was relieved that the truth was out. The topic was opened for discussion, which was my goal.

Teach them what to say in order to confess.

This is the number one thing that has helped us. Somehow, scripting an acceptable response gives my kids the courage to admit that they’ve really done it this time.

In our household, the scripted response is, “Yes, I did it, and I’m sorry.”

Sometimes I wonder about their motives in confessing. An apology softens anger, and my discipline is sometimes softened, too, when they tell the truth and apologize. Lying is such a major issue, though, that I’m willing to give a little (at least in the beginning) if it helps them get into the habit of telling “what really happened.”

Praise for telling the truth.

This is much easier for me to remember when they use the catchphrase: “Yes, I did it, and I’m sorry.” We both recognize that they’ve made a conscious decision to tell the truth. I thank them for telling the truth before disciplining for the original wrong.

Lying carries a different, heavier punishment.

Because lying is so destructive, the punishment for it is worse than the punishment for anything else they might do wrong. When we talk about lying, I explain that even when they tell the truth, they might be disciplined for the original thing they did wrong. But if they lie, the punishment is different and worse. I feel awful whenever I have to discipline my kids, but lying is too serious an issue to let slide.

Help them understand why lying is bad for them.

The reason I don’t like lying is that it prevents people from getting the help they need. I have attempted to tell the kids stories about people who needed help and were only able to ask for it when they admitted how they got into trouble in the first place. (How many fallen pastors should have asked for help?) My kids are too young to grasp the concepts, but I still try. It puts the materials in their minds that will eventually take shape into recognizable concepts.

Invest in plenty of positive time together.

This is the place where I fail, and it’s a dangerous failure. If children are ignored except when doing wrong, they lose any motive to be pleasing. Why try to please someone who can’t be pleased? When I invest a good deal of positive time with them, they learn that it’s fun to do things that foster happy relationships.

Time together outside of a discipline situation is important, but asking a child to do something positive immediately afterward is helpful, too. I don’t want my kids to develop a “bad” self-image. Helping to clean up a mess, or doing something kind for a sibling (beyond the required apology) helps a child feel capable of doing good things.

(In topics for another day: Coloring with marker on skin… The culprit said, with a lisp, “Ith that me, with my hand all methy?” Yeth, that would be you.)

In closing…

Dealing with lying in my children causes me to examine areas where I might not be completely truthful, or at least where I’d rather hide.

Yes, I am a terrible homemaker. I probably should ask for help. I just don’t like anyone else to touch my laundry pile!